Is there something that all of these different kinds of love have in common? And which kinds of love are most essential to a well-lived life?ДЎ. We can also talk about loving more abstract things, like justice, beauty, or wisdom, which raises even more issues. We can love our friends, our children, our community, even our country. I havenвЂ™t even mentioned any other kinds of love. Those are just some of the questions that come up when weвЂ™re talking about romantic love. What exactly is love?В Why do we love? Can we decide whom to love? Is love ever rational?В Would we be better off without it? So thereвЂ™s a lot to talk about on this weekвЂ™s show. An avalanche has causes too, and those causes explain why the avalanche happens, but that doesnвЂ™t make an avalanche rational. However, we should also point out that even if we admit that love can have causes, and that a personвЂ™s particular qualities can explain why we love that person, it doesnвЂ™t follow that love is therefore rational. That seems to suggest that love is at least potentially rational. It would be surprising, for example, if the reasons you came up with for loving your significant other-the qualities that make this person so lovable-turned out to be completely irrelevant to your feelings.Д®ven if we donвЂ™t consciously decide to fall in love, it makes sense to think we respond to particular qualities we perceive in others, and we fall in love because of those qualities. After all, what we consciously experience does not necessarily reveal the true underlying mechanisms at work.

While this might not be how most people experience love, of course, it doesnвЂ™t follow that itвЂ™s not possible to fall in love for reasons. It sounds cold and calculating, not something we might even want to dignify with the label вЂњlove.вЂќ Moreover, it paints a picture that suggests we can rationally deliberate and decide who to love, but for most people, IвЂ™d bet thatвЂ™s not how they actually experience love. Think of it this way-falling in love because youвЂ™ve come up with a list of good reasons doesnвЂ™t sound very romantic. Just because we can provide reasons for feeling the way we do about a particular person, it doesnвЂ™t follow that we see reasons for loving first, and then develop feelings based on those reasons. Perhaps the truth is that we first find ourselves in love, and then come up with reasons to justify our feelings. It would be wise to pause, though, to consider whether or not we ever actually love for the reasons we give. But, presumably, many of us have great reasons for loving who we love, which shows that sometimes love is actually quite rational. For example, if you have a significant other, you could probably list off a bunch of reasons for your love: your partner is kind, intelligent, funny, and so on.В If you loved someone who was mean, stupid, and boring, that would be irrational. But we should be careful here, as perhaps love can have reasons too. Given these observations, we might be inclined to think that thereвЂ™s a significant element of irrationality to love. How many love songs are really about heartbreak over love lost?В Listen to a few, and itвЂ™s a wonder we ever love at all. Love can be the greatest feeling in the world, but it can also be utterly devastating when it doesnвЂ™t work out. Alternatively, it is something that can make the lover act like a fool.

Love is often portrayed as a powerful force, something that can inspire greatness in the lover. So-as Cole Porter famously asked-what is this thing called love? Yet a lot of what has been written points to a deep mystery. Many of us have been in love, and there have been countless great poems and popular songs written about it.

Philosophy unconditional love